Monday, May 2, 2011

cyberjaya, here i come~~

in less than a month, im shifting to cyberia to do my degree there... this is my second time leaving my home and stay alone at an unfamiliar place... well, im happy to do so becoz it is time for me to grow.. i cant always rely on people and hope everything will be done for me... during PLKN, i realise that staying alone there is not easy and everything u got to do it urself. therefore i become very hardworking and independent.. after i came back, i still remain this attitude but only for a month, mayb less than a month... i did all the morning physical training at home, keep my room clean and tidy... but this doesnt stay long, after that 'golden' period had passed, all my negative 'me' is back... i become so lazy, trying to avoid troublesome matters, rely much on people... and i hate this kind of me... im trying hard to 'erase' all this -ve 'me' from my life.. but it is difficult, becoz im staying with parents... my mom will help me to prepare food, wash my cloths and clean everything...

beside of my laziness, there is 1 more thing i have to improve... that is my attitude toward people... my mmu friends told me that im abit autistic... well, i cant deny that becoz i cant really open all my heart to them yet... instead of autistic, im more to introvert... i know this since im F3... becoz when i face problem, i dunno who should i share with... even if i share, i didnt share it 100%... i prefer to stay in my room think some rubbish thing. or mayb sometime when there is no one in my house, i will cover my mouth with pillow and shout out everything... this is the way i "share"... haha... well when i go to cyber, i have to share room with my friends. and i have to learn to trust people more, and share what i think... and i have to be more tolerant to every one since i have been told by sum1 that i sound like a chief.. haiz~~ *this really hurts me*

this and this is not easy to change becoz it is part of me for 19yr. but i will try to be a better man, i wont let u down... i wont let myself down either... just give me some time, i will proof to u that i can be a better man.... well, that all for this time... see ya~

p/s: looooooong time din use english to write essay/long paragraph, i know there r bunch of grammatical errors here and there. just bare with it ya~ haha...